I have to admit, I am a sucker for commencement speeches! Oprah gave the graduation address at Harvard yesterday where she received an honorary degree. She took a few narcissistic moments to carp about her network being a failure and getting kicked around in the press for it, but ressured the new grads failure will make you an interesting person. If that’s the case, Oprah’s more fascinating than ever! She also encouraged them to empathetic and to express themselves fully, and if that fails they can always rest in the comfort of knowing she’s still a billionaire.

Could this be the long hidden skeleton in an otherwise immaculate closet? Dr Suess once illustrated a book called…get ready to gasp…BONERS! Oh, it’s not what you think, fussbudget. It’s actually a really clever book he drew pictures for of test answers and essay facts kids got completely wrong. Like “Buddha is worshipped chiefly in Buddha Pest” and Achilles was dipped in the river Stinx. So yes, boners were BLOOPERS, so don’t pop a blooper when it gets too racy.

Spin magazine put together a predictably unpredictable list of the 100 greatest drummers of alternative music. There are some big names on the list, some people you’ve never heard of, and I was pleased at the high number of female entries. I love lady drummers! Number one on the list? It’s a guy who’s music you hear everyday on the krab, he smells better than teen spirit!

[Spin Magazine]

(AP Photo/Jason Mojica)

So is it still basketball diplomacy if you’re first runner up? Vice will finally air the episode of Dennis Rodman in N Korea on June 14^th, so we’ll get to see the former NBA great and current useless drunk make a total ass of himself. Rodman was not the first choice to be the 1^st American to meet Kim Jong Un, they really wanted Michael Jordan, but MJ has standards and money, and probably hates manbaby communists, so Rodman got the job. Vice CEO Shane Smith says it turned out for the better, because Rodman was utterly absurd. You can watch the Worm flounder in a few weeks on HBO. [NY Times]

Our fumbling dumbertson of the day is Christian Barnes of Long Beach. He created an innocuous dry ice bomb inside Toontown at Disneyland, it caused a small explosion in a trash can, the guy was easily arrested and now he’s being held on 1 million dollars bail. What an idiot! The guy was working at Disneyland, and he knew it would scare the piss out of people, and now he’s ruined his life. I hope the evacuation was worth it, jackass. There were no injuries, no damage, just scared little children running for their sweet lives. Criminals are such idiots.

Our tech trailblazer of the day is the cord-cutting brave soul who says sayonara to cable and satellite companies and instead goes with Netflix, hulu plus and Amazon instant video, as all these services mature.

Cable can run upwards of $90 a month, and your ISP, or even a bundled bunch of cable and internet service can get you closer to 200. Netflix is 7.99 a month. So what are you missing? News channels, sports, and the frustration of sitting down and never having anything good to watch on pay channels? It’s becoming a popular option, and Nielsen is paying attention to these “zero TV” households.

In reality I still have a dish, but my dreams are filled with Apple tv, roku and my Kindle Fire. I envy the cord cutters, I got my eye on you! Wink.

Well I guess you can turn those yellow bracelets into tourniquets or cockrings, but they’re about to become a thing of the past. Nike has officially dumped that one-balled wonder Lance Armstrong and the horse he rode in on! Or at least the non-Trek bike since they dumped him too. After launching the yellow bracelet phase of Lancey Pants career, Nike has finally decided to cut bait and they’ll stop making that tainted lance apparel, the Oregon sneaker giant helped raise over 100 million for the Livestrong foundation, the cancer charity Armstrong started, but even they kicked his ass off the board! Sucks to be a juicing a-hole.

(Twitter)

Oh, this is so sweet! When Paul McCartney visited Graceland this weekend he left a guitar pick on Elvis’ grave so the king of rock n roll could play guitar in heaven. What a beautiful gesture. So, who’s a bigger musical legend, Elvis or Pauly Mac? 

So what is the status of my musical boyfriend Damon Albarn? Could there be a new Blur record in the future? The band is coming off a VERY successful Coachella and will make the euro festival circuit, and delicious Damon says if they can wriggle away for a week Blur will lay down an album. What is MORE of a reality is Albarn putting out a solo record with XL Recordings head Richard Russell and headlining his own tour which would span his entire career: solo stuff, Blur and Gorillaz. I like it all! Damon, you have such a pretty mouth, now go ahead and use it for good.